1 night down...

YAY! Krystina and I had a great time last night, just dancing and playing around. It was very weird without daddy, I got VERY bored after she went to bed so I laid down about 9:30 (an hour and a half earlier than normal). I talked to Grant for a few moments last night and really felt thankful for all that I have. He is the biggest supporter in my life of all my little random things. I couldn't be happier.
Tomorrow is Susan's bridal shower, she is my soon-to-be sister in law by marrying Grant's brother. I have mixed feelings about going as I feel very unwanted by her in general, like I am invited out of obligation and not want. I wouldn't go but I know that even if I am not wanted all hell could brake loose that I didnt come. I even got her a thoughful gift... a sweatshirt with her new name on it... hopefully she will like it. I know that so much of it is the jealousy that I got married first, that I have the first grandchild and the more romantic brother (hey she said it) but come on... be happy with what you have in your life. I have gone to hell and back in the last 10 years to be where I am. I have had some of the worst experiences that you wouldn't wish on anyone and on the other side I have had some of the best but guess what... I am so happy with who and where I am in life. I have had to work to be the person I am now, the person that doesn't hold onto the crap in the past. I love my daughter, my husband and my family so much and am who I am inspite of my past.