Home a day early!

Grant came home yesterday... he surprised me by calling me from outside of my work. I knew he was on his way but just not quite so soon. I don't think that I have ever been so excited to see someone, except for the day I picked Krystina up. It was so amazing to feel his arms around me, his kiss, his skin... his smell. I felt terrible, though, knowing that the house wasn't clean since I did not expect him home so early!

He got to see our new bedroom and HE LOVED IT... I was so worried, what if he hated it, what if it was girly... oh so many things but he loved it. We went to pick up Krystina and she went flying across the playground at school screaming daddy and right up into his arms. I got all teary just watching the exchange between the two of them, it was so beautiful. She got home and was so excited to give him her fathers day gift, since he was gone on the actual day, her Soldier Dragon that she made for him.

After all this Grant had laundry to do and we were both tuckered out. I love this man so much and it felt AMAZING to sleep next to him last night, although I froze my ass off because of the stupid AC I was happy he was home. He is my rock and it felt so good to talk to him about EVERYTHING thats going on both good and bad. I feel so much better today. I even settled on my dress for the pageant, and I ordered my onsie (sorry unitard) for the pageant as well. Now to settle on a headshot, get my ad page done AND my paperwork filled out by Sunday. I love my life!
This is from HT US Finals in 2006- I bought the dress and I have not worn it since so I thought that the color and the cut were a perfect choice for a pageant. Seeing this picture and how small I really was then is definitly a reality check for me, I was WAY too thin... my arm looks like a pretzel stick. I am happy now with my current size, I am healthy and know that I can look pretty at any size.

I chose #497 in turquoise... not like there is much more to choose from when it comes to a ONSIE. Didn't I grow out of these at like 12 months old?!

My handsome husband

I officially think that I am the luckiest woman alive. I have the best husband. He is loving, thoughtful, appreciative... he is handsome, sexy and makes me smile. the last three weeks without him have been very hard. I am missing my best friend, my partner... the person that I share everything with. When I am stressed I usually turn to him, when i am mad I turn to him... AHHHH. It has been really hard not having him here to talk to about things. I have definitly kept most things to myself during the last few weeks because I don't want him to have to worry about all the stress in my life. I love him too much to add that to all of his Army stuff. I am so unbelievably proud of him for all that he is and wants to be.

I am amazed how much I miss the simple things, the touch, the kiss.... the smile, my gosh I miss that probably more than anything. Just seeing the way that his eyes light up when he smiles. I miss the way that Krystina and I both light up when daddy plays with us. We have days that Grant and I will be tickling or wrestling in our room and Krystina will come to "rescue" mommy and she ends up being tickled by mommy and daddy. I am so happy that he comes home today!

Pageant, Homecoming... etc

2 more days and Grant will FINALLY be home. Krystina did the most amazing little thing EVER yesterday. They had build a bear come to their school, all of the other children made something for themselves... not our little noodle. She chose to make a Soldier Dragon for her DADDY! What made it that much cuter was that he won her a dragon on our first trip to Disneyland 2 weeks after we got her. She is so proud of her Soldier daddy... of course I started to cry and she started apologizing thinking that she had done something wrong, my poor baby, I had to explain that they were happy tears!

I have been thinking more and more about this pageant. I decided to do it because I realized that I was losing site of myself, I began identifying and defining myself only as a wife and a mother and totally forgot about Shana. Pageants are something that I used to do and they made me feel so good about myself. I love the fact that the Mrs. International pageant is so much about community involvement, it gives me a platform to be able to be more involved in a cause that is so close to my heart, Domestic Violence. People that know me know how deep this has touched my life, those who don't probably just think I am a bleeding heart person that wants to save the world... while that may be true I want to help and know that I made a difference in this world.

IKEA IS CURSED!

This is the last time Krystina and I went to Ikea, the day we bought out dressers. We spent an hour walking around, then saw the face painting and waited another 30 minutes to get this done. She fell asleep in the car and it was all over her carseat and my seatbelt... pretty funny.

Last night my amazing mother in law and I put together 2 Ikea dressers for my room redo. OH MY GOSH! It was the funniest thing... there were no less than a million pieces. We got them done in a record 4 hours! I am exhausted today but can't wait to get home and move forward with getting my room together. I am so excited for Grant to come home and see his tranquil room, not that I think he will notice the first night being so tired. I love Ikea stuff because it is built well... I mean HELLO, I built it. ha ha

Last night was really nice to hang out with Diana. It is hard that Grant is not home and that I still have another week until he is. I miss him more than anything right now... just the simple things, the touch, the kiss, the little looks that we have. He is my best friend, my partner. I never thought marriage could be this good.

We took Krystina to see Elmo last year... I miss my little family all together. Grant is such a huge part of that bond and balance. I miss his touch, his smell, his kiss... 8 days left!

Mrs. Orange County International 2009!

Can you believe this is me... It has been a very long time since I did a pageant that was based off of more than my measurements... I am SO proud of myself and excited about the pageant.

HALF WAY!

Today is the half way point to this stupid drill. I absolutly hate not seeing Grant and honestly feeling like we barely speak. Due to the crappy service where he is our conversations suffer the constant interuption of dropped calls, dead air and static so we keep saying that we love eachother because it is important that is the last thing that we say. I have learned a lot since he has been gone. I have learned what truly tired means, I have learned how hard single parenting is... I have also learned that I am strong enough to handle it. I miss Grant more than anything but amaze myself each day with how I am dealing with all of this. He is my world, my center but without him I am still fully functioning... although we will have SO much to talk about when he gets home.

And so it begins....

Grant has been my best friend almost since day one, he has been the one that has been there with me when we got Krystina, he was the shoulder I cried on when I felt that the world abandoned me, he is the one that keeps my laughing and the one that I turn to when I need to vent. This morning, WAY TOO EARLY, he got up to get ready to leave for the month. I got up at 4:15 this morning to make him breakfast and drink a cup of coffee with him just to see him before he left. He made a few little jokes to keep me smiling, totally Grant's style and off he went. Krystina doesn't really understand much, just that daddy is gone for a long long day and that she gets to tear off one of her paper chain links every day until he gets home.

Now I can back track a bit!
This weekend was BUSY! We went to 2 weddings on Saturday! The first one was for Grant's friend Warren, it was STUNNING. They had their ceremony in the Japanese garden at Long Beach State... AMAZING. It was so beautiful and so serene. Then we were off to race home, put little one down for her nap, I needed to get dressed, Grant needed to get ready as he was the best man and we needed to drop Krystina off at my sisters all before his brothers wedding that night. A wedding that I was the Wedding Coordinator, told about that job 3 days before the wedding. Once we got to Chino Hills for the wedding, we were both surprised at how much nicer it was than we had expected. I actually almost felt bad for all of my negativity towards the situation. Luckily that feeling evaporated moments later and I was reassured that my feelings were justified. Grant looked so handsome in his tux, he gave a fantastic speech and I did WONDERFUL at my first real attempt at planning a wedding if I do say so myself. The DJ was horrible so we barely danced, and I think we were both a little sad about what was to come today.

On Sunday we had the pleasure of enjoying breakfast with Grant's dad, stepmom and mom... It is always so nice to see everyone and be able to spend some time with them. It's also wonderful that Krystina gets to know his dad and stepmom since they live so far away.

IN other great news I am officially 2009's Mrs. Orange County International. My first meeting is in a few weeks and the pageant is in August. This was a title that I won via an online search including pictures and essays... I am really proud of myself and hope to use this title to make a difference.