My FANTASTIC Birthday

My 29th birthday was last Thursday... I am not sure how I feel being ALMOST 30. My amazing husband made some fanstastic plans to take me to Hollywood for the afternoon, then he had tickets to see Wicked. I have been dying to see this play for a very long time.

Walking around wih Grant's arm around me, seeing the relaxation in both of and the feeling of just being able to have this amazing man in my life made me realize how truly thankful and blessed I am. I am truly madly in love with him. I never thought loving like this was truly possible, to feel this secure, this stable, this loved... this confident. I love every minute of being in love with this man.

I lost my job last Tuesday, the joy of company mergers! I was laid off... it really sucks. I feel so much pressure to get a new job, like it's all riding on my shoulders. I realize that Grant, honestly, has more responsibility being the man in the relationship but HOLY SHIT do I feel a lot of pressure. I love my husband and know that he totally supports me and whatever decision that I make... I hate this.

What a wonderful weekend!

Grant and I had an amazing night on Friday! We left work, mom picked up Krystina and we just headed straight down to San Clemente. We were able to go to dinner, enjoy conversation, down to the beach and just walk around... it was so perfect to spend some time alone with my amazing husband. We both have a lot of stuff coming up in the next 2 months so we will definitly take the time for eachother where we can.

I was in such a cuddly mood yesterday, just wanted to feel his strong arms around me. I went to the gym, then grocery shopping, home for dinner and then right to the couch in my husbands arms. Krystina was so good last night, just chilled for the most part. She is always my little cuddle bug, so it was funny that she let me cuddle with daddy.

Oh- yes, I did get my 'unitard' or my perfectly named ONSIE yesterday for the pageant... ha ha. I look like a moron!

MY FABULOUS FRIDAY!

The Hampton Inn & Suites in San Clemente!

Grant and I get our first WHOLE NIGHT alone since we got married! We are only going 30 minutes south but it feels like a little mini vacation! Just to be the two of us, a married couple is amazing! I love my daughter more than anything but it will be so nice to have a night just for the two of us. She is very excited as she gets to spend the whole night with Grammie. They are going to see a play at the Childrens Repertory in Fullerton, Beauty and the Beast. Krystina can't contain her excitement, and sadly... neither can I.

I know that the next few weeks/months are going to be really busy for Grant and I, between jobs, parenting, the Army and my volunteering, we will really need to find a perfect balance to keep our little family happy! I could not be more content with my life if I tried. I mean, I could always use more money, a house, a Mercedes GL 450... but in all honesty I love my life and my family.

Krystina has been in quite the little mood lately... if I didn't know better I would think that PMS is hitting my 4 year old! She is crying at the drop of a hat, talking back, grunting back and out right being defiant ON PURPOSE! The other night she was sitting on grammie's lap and Grant was talking to her, she burst into tears long enough for grammie to see and then looked at Grant with a smile and went back to crying. Are little one's really this manipulative at 4? If so we are so screwed when she is a teenager! ha ha I am baffled by her because of the fact she was an amazing child most of the time that daddy was gone. I am sure 3 weeks is almost a lifetime in her little world for him to be gone. Maybe this is just that testing phase that I have dreaded. She is just pushing the limits to see who lets her get away with what and how much. I really hope that this little phase is gone soon. I hate to see her like this.

Our 4th weekend!

Friday night my awesome little brother came... we got to hang with him for 2 days. Friday night was the fun night with the family. Grant, Krystina, Travis and I all went to my mother in laws house and did fireworks with my brother in law and his wife. The boys all lit the fireworks while Grammie, Krystina and I watched the pretty colors. Saturday was ALL day in the pool (yep, you guessed it, I am sunburned!) Then after dropping Uncle Travi off we woke up yesterday and went to hang out with a coworker of Grants and his family. He has a beautiful little girl that is just shy of 2 years younger than Krystina so they play very well together.

I adore my family... all of it. To have a husband that loves me, a daughter than looks up to me and a mother in law that treats me like a daughter I really don't think that life could get any better.

oh... and I changed my dress. same color as before but more like this.

Wow... what a week!

Grant is home... YAY! I am so glad that I get to sleep in bed with him, talk to him and just generally have him around. I am very luck and I know this. Our weekend felt like it just flew by. I spent most of Saturday stressed about my pageant orientation Sunday, then I spent Sunday driving to Bakersfield with another contestant. I realized by the end of the day that:

1. I feel too old to do this


2. I do really want to make a difference in this world


3. I have the most supportive husband ever to allow me to do this and follow this dream


4. I really want to do well (ok, I really want to win)

Today is going to be a good day, only one more day of work. Friday is going to be fun, Travis is supposed to come out, I love 4th of July and Grant will be here. I worry about the future, I worry about Grant heading back to Iraq or Afghanistan, I worry about letting everyone down and losing miserably at this pageant. I have so much passion about prevention and awareness of Domestic Violence. The question was raised in my family, am I going to share my personal feelings and events to pageant people to explain my passion. Sadly, the answer is... I don't know. I don't know if I am willing to share that piece of me, I don't know if I am able to admit it to someone that I don't know. I don't want to sell my self out for this pageant but maybe, just maybe my passion will come across in my admission. I don't know. I do know that I am excited about it all and nervous and everything else. Oh and I changed my dress choice: