Friday

Last night I went and saw, and held, and annoyed baby Gavin. Sitting in the hospital with my sister and Greg, seeing the love they both have for this little boy got me to thinking. While I have gone through this baby stage 5 times, true, he is making me an Aunt for the SEVENTH time (Krista has 2 boys & 3 girls and Renee has 2 boys!) I am really jealous. I do want another child. I can actually say that out loud... I WANT A BABY. I want another little one, I want to experience breast feeding and being up all night... I can do without experiencing collick (however you spell it!). Sadly I even want to experience the spitting up, the diaper changes.... but along with all of that I want to experience the cooing, the first words... the first steps. All of the things that I did not experience with our little noodela! She has made me a wonderful mom, she has made me want to be a wonderful person. So often she is the reason that I do most things. I am blessed enough to have an amazing husband that is the center of my life, but so is our little girl. The two of them have been the glue that has held my sanity together... oh ok... they are also the solvent that pulls my sanity apart. Admittedly there are nights that I want to run screaming now, so that will be NO different if there is another one in our household but I KNOW that I have enough love for another little one... if we have to adopt, I am ok with that (obviously) but I do want to adopt a baby. I want to take a little picture like this with Grant, Krystina and I and our new baby... don't start with me on names because we can only agree on the boy but hey, we have more than 9 months to even worry about it...
That is enough with my little rant for the day. HAve an awesome weekend.

I AM AN AUNTIE... Again!

Last night my big sister, Renee, gave birth to my newest nephew. Gavin Parker Schneider was born a healthy 7lbs 2oz, 20 1/2 inches with a head of dark hair. I will get to go visit my new nephew tonight... I can't wait.

Going through this pregnancy with Renee has made me realize more and more that I do want another child. I know that I often say that one is enough or that I don't know if I really want another one... the truth is that I just say that so people won't constantly bother me about timing. Grant and I have got our own timeline, one that we are happy and comfortable with. Truth be told, the idea of having two in full time daycare is almost a paralyzing fear... who can afford $2000+ a month... I would not be working for much more than paying daycare, so in essence I am paying someone else to watch my child and experiencing all of the firsts, ones that we missed with Krystina. I, WE, want to be more financially secure when we have another one, I know that if we wait until we have enough money we will never have a child... I get that idea BUT we will wait until we will only be paying daycare for ONE. I love my husband and my family so much that I can't wait to bring another Smith into it... ha ha, just what this world needs is one more Smith!

Amazing

There are days in our lives that we just feel blah! I have those days a lot but I have two people that will do anything to get me out of those moods. Well today is that day for my husband... I hate it because he is at work so I can't use any of my normal tricks to make him laugh. It makes me so sad.
My husband is one of the most amazing people that I know. He is actually my hero in so many ways, I know that sounds silly but let me explain! Grant is the only person I know that would actually walk INTO danger for the well being of others, he is selfless, he is kind and thoughtful (he remembered my favorite candy on our second date!) He is the most honest, true and passionate person that I have ever met. He is just as amazing to me tonight as he was the first night. I love him and I wish that he could see all that he is to Krystina and I... all that he means to everyone in his life. He will never truly realize how many lives he has touched, how many people are better because of him... I wish he would though. I couldn't imaging what life would be like without my best friend, the only person that stood by me when I watched my friends walk out of my life because I was a mother. He was the person that held me while I cried and told me that it was their loss even when I felt like it was mine. He is the person that makes me smile when my tummy hurts, and the person that knows exactly what percentage of dark chocolate I love. Grant is the person that I confide it, giggle with and enjoy life with... my life without him would still be busy and with the love of Krystina would still be happy but it would never be complete. In the infamous words of Jerry McGuire... he completes me. I love my husband more than anything and would never change that... I love my life, my family and everything that is going on daily no matter how crazy and insane my life is... I LOVE IT

Updates, Updates & MORE updates!

HOLY MOLY have I been busy!
I have spent the last few weeks finding a job (I started Monday 8/11), preparing for the Mrs. California International pageant (8/7-8/10) and still trying to keep up with my fundraisers, my mom and wife duties. I am happy and sad that life is back to normal. Lets start at the top.
I started my new job as an Admin Asst for a wonderful company. Honestly, it's not what I want to be doing BUT it's a job, it pays the bills and it will be challenging. We shall see...
The pageant was an AMAZING experience! I placed top 8 in my category and felt beautiful. When I was able to walk the runway in the preliminaries I felt at home... so amazing. Then getting to walk on stage with my husband felt so awesome, I am so proud of this man and being on his arm.
My fundraisers are going well... I am a little let down in myself that I didn't raise more money for Avon or for my school supplies but I think that I did pretty well so far... $1100 for breast cancer and school supplies for victims of domestic violence.
Well... off to bed and hopefully to have an awesome weekend with my family!