Day 02 → Something you love about yourself

So this is more weekly than daily – sorry.

I love a lot of things about myself but what I love most is my strength. 8 years ago I left an abusive relationship and started a new life. 4 years ago I began a journey to adopt my beautiful daughter as a single parent. 3 years ago I married my best friend and the Army. 7 months ago my husband told me he would be leaving in 30 days for training and then a 13 month deployment to Iraq. Strength is just something I am and I am proud of my strength. It’s odd to talk about my feelings about… well myself. I can talk about most things pretty easily. I found this question to be a bit difficult but realized that my strength is what has kept me alive and moving forward. My strength led me to my amazing husband because Lord knows it took strength to enter into a relationship. It was my strength that allowed me to KNOW I could move forward in adopting without a partner… it’s my strength that is getting me through each day the wife of a deployed soldier… and it’s my strength that keeps me from snapping off to some idiot that asks me things such as “Aren’t you afraid he is going to get killed?” or “Do you miss him?” or my personal favorite “How do you do this?” Lets see… yes, I am terrified that the love of my life and my soul mate will be injured but I have faith in the Lord that nothing will happen. We have both been through our share of heartache and crap, nothing is going to stop me from sharing my life with him! Do I miss him? Yes, like I would miss my right arm if it were suddenly taken away. I miss little things like his smell, the smell of oversprayed Axe body spray in my bathroom every morning… and the big things like his arms wrapped around me at the end of a long day or his kiss before bed every night. How do I do this… oh yes HOW. Well moron, the better question is: How could I NOT do this? This is my husband not my neighbor, I love him more than anything… we have vows, and a relationship. We have a future. See… strength not to backhand stupid people. Haha.


Until next time.

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.

I know I said I would start the next day but hey... I have 3 blogs, an online newspaper column, a 6 year old and a deployed husband... along with a full time job SO... sometimes I am a little behind.

Something I hate about myself...

I can’t really say that I HATE anything about myself… I dislike that I hate putting laundry away to the point that it just piles up clean in buckets, I dislike doing dishes, I dislike that I look at myself being about 50lbs heavier than I really am. Ok… so I guess I hate that about myself. I hate that I put such an emphasis on being thin. That my life revolves around what I eat and how… that I freak if I gain a single pound! I hate that I am miserable looking at my self in a swimsuit right now because I am not in impeccable shape, mind you I weigh 127lbs. I have not been able to make it to the gym consistently since Grant deployed and have gained a few inches. I hate it and cry... then drown my sorrows in dark chocolate. Yep, I have eating issues. I think I would binge and purge if I didn't mind the throwing up part. I just binge... it's sad and pathetic. I know this, I accept this and I work on it but it's a flaw.

We are back!

Wow... so it's been 13 crazy months since I last posted. So much has happened that a recap would take days so lets just say its a little different.
1 - Grant is deployed
2 - Krystina is in the 1st Grade
3 - I am working for Apria Healthcare, still volunteering and am not Mrs. Orange County but am NOW Mrs. Southern California United States

That covers the major things!

I found a new blog a few days ago, and she posted a new '30 Days of Me' challenge.

So here is the deal.
Everyday for 30 days, I will answer the corresponding question provided below.

I looked over these questions, and some made me very nervous!

I will do my best to answer these fully and honestly as close to daily as possible... starting tomorrow.

Here is the list:
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Here we go....