Babysitting

Last night I got to babysit my nephew, Gavin. He is all of 3 months old (tomorrow) and a whopping 16lbs. I had so much fun and realized that maybe baby #2 wouldn't be so bad now as Krystina was so much help and handled it all very well. Grant got to have some fun giving me grief with a baby on my hip while standing barefoot in the kitchen. It definitly wasn't as hard as I had expected and really fun to have him around.

Grant was adorable with him, he doesn't have much experience with babies... I think his first time holding a baby may have been my niece Leah last year. He is a natural though, just held Gavin and talked to him like a little man. He was even the one that got Gavin calmed down enough to sleep. It was so cute and I know that he will be an amazing father with our next one just as he is with Krystina.

Old School!

The other day I was looking through other people's photo's on Facebook and came across some really funny pictures from high school. Actually one of them is the only picture I have from Graduation (my parents didn't take ANY!) It made me think about high school and how many fun memories came out of that time in my life. After moving SO much and having friends and memories in different places it's fun to look back. I may not have many people from my past that I talk to but I will always have the fun memories of those people and times. I am very blessed that there are some very dear people from high school that I still talk to, funny enough I am often surprised by them because, looking back, I would have assumed it would be different people. I am very blessed... although I don't see anyone very often I enjoy the emails, blog comments and phone calls with each person. I am very thankful for a very funny girl that is the mother of 3... her blog always makes me laugh and often reminds me to accept life and make the most out of it. Anyhow... I thought I would share my old school photos, courtesy of Aimee Bartelle (Rinderknecht)

Aimee and I after Miss Big Bear 1997 - I got 1st Princess
With my family, my mom, dad, Krista and Renee... I was so excited and don't think I took my crown off the rest of the night... even at dinner. ha ha

1997 Graduates of Big Bear High School with Aimee and my sister Krista... wow I looked SO young, a huge difference 11 years makes.With Aimee and Mary Alexander... We always had so much fun.

Thinking... or lack there of!

Some people just don't think, or they do and forget to engage their thoughts before they open their mouth. I have been asked so many times when we are going to have 'our own' child. I know adoption is a mystery to a lot of people but lets clear one thing up... we have OUR OWN child! She is a 4 1/2 year old, overly energetic, stubborn, pain in the bottom. I love Krystina more than anything and she couldn't be more my own. Last night I heard an interesting thing on TV, it was from an adopted son to his adopted father about the fathers birth son (confusing I know)... he said 'without genes, that guy is a stranger'. HELLO so true... what makes us parents is not genetics, it's how we nurture, how we love, how we bond with our children. Being a parent is about how we cuddle, how we listen and how we are there for our children no matter what. True Krystina will never have my eyes or her daddy's nose BUT she does have my tendency to model and pose and Grant's stubbornness.. ha ha. She is our daughter.. now will we have ANOTHER child, only God knows that right now. I would love to expand our 3 to 4, have another little girl or a little boy. I would love to feel a baby move in my tummy, go to dr. appts to see heartbeats. However, if God blesses us with another opportunity to adopt I will love that child just as much. Nothing about genetics makes you a mommy or a daddy, it makes you a mother or a father. It takes love and time to be given the title of mommy or daddy.

Ice Skating

Today we took Krystina ice skating for the first time. It was actually Grant's first Sunday off in quite a while so we enjoyed some good family time. After ice skating, thanks to our dear friend Pam, we stopped at Starbucks and had some hot chocolate... apparently you can't end a good ice skating day without it.

Totally forgot

I forgot the biggest news last weekend... Krystina and I went to the movies. It was her FIRST time at the theater. She sat in total silence and awe for the entire length of the movie. Well she talked during EVERY SINGLE preview and kept repeating. "This isn't MY movie mommy, where is MY movie!" I kept telling her ... just a minute and stop talking or they will throw us out" FINALLY the movie started and she simply watched the movie and inhaled her popcorn. I was so proud of her and bummed that Grant missed it.

Amazing!

Life is amazing. I am trying to turn over a new leaf... albeit a VERY big one... I am still trying. I want to see more of the positive, more of the good in people. Which for anyone that knows me knows that I think people are good for the most part and I really want to help everyone, I forget sometimes that I can't. I can't adopt every child, feed every person or make everyone woman realize that it's time to stop getting abused, but boy do I try.

Yesterday I was at home at lunch and walked by the dryer and this is what I saw... sadly I wanted to join the little guy.

On Saturday was the beautiful service for Reese Kostjuk. Such an amazing day. Her life was plagued by doctors and needles but her death brought so much life. She touched so many people, she had people praying for her family that she had never met. She made me, along with so many others, realize that the Lord really does hold all control in our lives. I sat there wondering how Todd and Ashley do it, never once did Ashley look anything but happy with a peace about her, how they have so much faith in the Lord... the same Lord that took their little girl to Heaven. Then I realized, that is the point of faith. We can't just have faith in the good times, we have to have faith in the bad times too. The times that you want to be angry with God are the times you should really have the faith that He is doing what needs to be done. We may not understand His purpose but that is not our job. Bless Reese Renee Kostjuk and her entire family as they give glory to God for allowing us all to have 365 days of Reese. Now this beautiful angel has her wings.
This picture was taken by Reese's big sister Lexi...



Then on Sunday was a day with my Grandmother. I love spending time with her even though she is annoying at times and seems totally ungrateful for all that we do for her. Anyhow, her and Krystina love spending time together as my grandma has been blessed enough to have known little one since she was 8 months old and lived across the yard from her the entire time. I love watching their time together. We went to brunch and then home to make chocolate chip cookies. Such a sweet time together.




Then my darling husband came home from being gone 3 days for his drill weekend. It's so wonderful to feel that hug and kiss after 3 days. I can't imagine what it will be like if/when he heads to the east for another deployment, missing those arms and kisses for a year but WOW... the reunion will be amazing. I am so lucky and blessed to have all the family that I have. I will always try to remember that each time I want to see an empty glass.
Here is our little Dorothy from Halloween.

Exhausted... mentally and physically

This has been a really LONG past week. I didn't go to the children's program, I felt so overwhelmed by the rest of life. On Friday morning I found out that Reese had passed. My mother in law and I were headed up there in a few weeks to see her as she has been doing so well and seemed as healthy as she could be. The death came out of the blue. We are planning to go to her service this coming weekend. I couldn't really mentally function for a better part of the morning. Also Grant was extremely sick, and I was very worried about him. He doesn't get super sick very often but when he does he really does. Then Saturday night I did appearance as a special guest at an event benefiting Autism, An Evening for Autism. It was such a wonderful experience and I truly enjoyed being a part of it. I met 2 Miss California America delegates, such sweet girls. It was the first time since I was crowned that I actually made it into a local newspaper, that was pretty exciting for me. I am also working out the best I can and eating a lot better to get my body more toned without losing weight. So far so good... I am still at 125 which I have been since I got sick last month.
Life is pretty fantastic other than that. Grant has drill this weekend... so other than the funeral I think I will just go to my grandma's to have breakfast. Krystina loves seeing Great Grammie... although the child is one step below a nightmare most of the time lately... I REALLY can't wait for this whiny, not listening, needs to be the center of attention phase is over!

Oh well... off to the start of another busy Smith week!