This has been a really long week. So much to do with our schedules that sometimes I feel a total disconnect in life. I get frustrated in thinking that I can control it all. The month of April just started yet we are almost totally booked this month... Grant has a lot of work training this month and drill. I am glad that he is getting all of this training, it just makes scheduling a bit difficult. This week we have all felt pretty crummy, Grant with his sinus infection, me with my cramps and congestion and little one is just feeding off of it all. Sometimes I don't feel like I do anything right... I feel like I am just floating through and busting my ass for nothing. I know that it's appreciated but not helpful or needed. Krystina's birthday is coming up and I feel like I have done nothing but I feel like I have to jump through hoops to get it all done the way we want it. I don't know how I feel about spending $300 on her birthday... I mean she is only 4 and she won't notice if we do it at the park without a bounce house, with the exception being that we have talked about it. Oh well. I hope that I can get my internal arguments handled before they over power me.
last week I finally moved forward with figuring myself out. 3 1/2 months later I am one step closer to getting my body under control. I still feel nasty and out of shape, but hopefully that too will come. I am trying to walk more, trying to get myself ready for my BIG walk and ready for my life to move forward. I am using working out as a mask and I know that. I know that my big issue with my body is deeper than the physical but I am not really sure what it is or why. I will hopefully figure it out some day soon.
last week I finally moved forward with figuring myself out. 3 1/2 months later I am one step closer to getting my body under control. I still feel nasty and out of shape, but hopefully that too will come. I am trying to walk more, trying to get myself ready for my BIG walk and ready for my life to move forward. I am using working out as a mask and I know that. I know that my big issue with my body is deeper than the physical but I am not really sure what it is or why. I will hopefully figure it out some day soon.
Last weekend Grant and I stayed pretty busy with our date nights. We had such an amazing time together and with his family. I feel very blessed to have them all in my life. We went and saw George Strait. He was absolutly amazing as were out tickets!
1 comment:
I think you, like a lot of people, are coming down hard on yourself in many areas. I think a lot of people feel discontent from time to time... like their in the 'rat race'... like when are things going to settle down, be simple and make each of us happy. You're not alone in that. As for noodle's upcoming birthday.... I'm sure you and grant will come up with a memorable day... bounce house or not.... try not to over think it.
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