The past year has been an amazing journey for me.
There has never been any specific period of time in my life that I could see how much my life had changed... then 2006 happened! From November of 2006 to today my life has changed more than I have ever thought possible.
Grant and I started dating shortly after he returned from Iraq, shortly before we got Krystina and in the same time frame as I decided I never wanted another serious relationship. Our first date was amazing, we talked, we laughed... and I embarrassed myself (what's new right). A month later Krystina moved in, she became the center of our lives.
Anyone who knows me knows that since I was 16, and my little brother was born, I have been a mom. I have always wanted a big family, one that involves ballet, soft ball, football, basketball and family vacations to who knows where. I love kids, I loved the idea of being a mommy... that person that a child will always look up to, the person that help mold and shape you into the responsible well adjusted adult. I think that is what I was always destined to be.
I felt ready at 19 then still at 22 and even more so at 25 BUT it wasn't until 6 months after my 27th birthday that I actually fullfilled that dream.
---Total tangent here BUT I have blessed enough to have some amazing experiences in my life, I have met some wonderful people and have more memories than most. I have learned the true meaning of life in every sense. I didn't feel that I was rushing through my life, or that I was in some way just setting myself up for parenthood... it was always just there in the back of my mind. I would never trade my life or do I regret any experiences... everything has made me who I am today.
I remember the day like it was yesterday, December 5, 2006. This little brown haired angel, in a cream colored velvet skirt, green and white striped onsie and tights bounding out the front door of her foster moms home and into my arms. She helped me put all of her stuff in my car, announcing that each full bag and each toy was 'MINE'. She waved good bye to her wonderful foster mom and was ready. She was ready to start her new life, with her new family, new experiences. She was so excited to be going bye-bye with her new mommy. She didn't talk much, she made a lot of noises but not many that I understood. I didn't care, I loved every noise... I was finally a mommy. I would stare at her in the mirror at every stop light, I thought it was a dream. On our way home we met Grant for lunch, she was so good at the restaurant. Next thing we knew my mom was here and she met my mom, her Grandma, for the first time. My mom was amazing, she let me be mommy but was more help that I could ever imagine. It was the most wonderful feeling when she called me mommy for the first time, I even thought it was cute when she slept or woke me up by wanting to sleep with me. I loved cuddling on the couch, or just smelling her cute little smell. I waited for bathtime and LOVE just watching her play.
Grant and I were married in September and we included our little angel in the ceremony. After we exchanged rings we placed a necklace around her neck. She tells everyone that she married mommy and daddy. It was the most magical day of my life.
Here we are 14 months later and ummm...yeah, up at night is not so cute NOW...
I now know what the meaning of tired is and the true and complete meaning of love. Imagine being dead tired, where you can't think BUT you still have to get out of bed and function enough to make meals, watch out for owies and make sure that there is cuddle time. I want to teach her the meaning of loyalty, the meaning of true friendship, the meaning of compassion and the meaning of love. She is my angel, my future and the meaning of true existence. I still love cuddle time, playtime and even bathtime. I can't imagine having more children and feeling this love time 2 or 3 or ... Now we go to family restaurants that have balloons, we coordinate who gets to sleep in while the other gets up at 5:30am on Saturday. We spend our days at the park and our nights watching SpongeBob.
Every memory, every blessing, every word I will cherish just as much as the first 'Mommy' because I can guarantee, as any mother knows, that is the most beautiful word you will ever hear. There is no manual to being a good parent, no exact science. You just do your best and bumble through it....
The past year has been full of so many highs and lows, from the uncertainty of when I would get her, to starting this amazing relationship with Grant, to all of the countinued court cases and seeing who my true friends were. Thank you to all of you that have supported me in everything now and always.
There has never been any specific period of time in my life that I could see how much my life had changed... then 2006 happened! From November of 2006 to today my life has changed more than I have ever thought possible.
Grant and I started dating shortly after he returned from Iraq, shortly before we got Krystina and in the same time frame as I decided I never wanted another serious relationship. Our first date was amazing, we talked, we laughed... and I embarrassed myself (what's new right). A month later Krystina moved in, she became the center of our lives.
Anyone who knows me knows that since I was 16, and my little brother was born, I have been a mom. I have always wanted a big family, one that involves ballet, soft ball, football, basketball and family vacations to who knows where. I love kids, I loved the idea of being a mommy... that person that a child will always look up to, the person that help mold and shape you into the responsible well adjusted adult. I think that is what I was always destined to be.
I felt ready at 19 then still at 22 and even more so at 25 BUT it wasn't until 6 months after my 27th birthday that I actually fullfilled that dream.
---Total tangent here BUT I have blessed enough to have some amazing experiences in my life, I have met some wonderful people and have more memories than most. I have learned the true meaning of life in every sense. I didn't feel that I was rushing through my life, or that I was in some way just setting myself up for parenthood... it was always just there in the back of my mind. I would never trade my life or do I regret any experiences... everything has made me who I am today.
I remember the day like it was yesterday, December 5, 2006. This little brown haired angel, in a cream colored velvet skirt, green and white striped onsie and tights bounding out the front door of her foster moms home and into my arms. She helped me put all of her stuff in my car, announcing that each full bag and each toy was 'MINE'. She waved good bye to her wonderful foster mom and was ready. She was ready to start her new life, with her new family, new experiences. She was so excited to be going bye-bye with her new mommy. She didn't talk much, she made a lot of noises but not many that I understood. I didn't care, I loved every noise... I was finally a mommy. I would stare at her in the mirror at every stop light, I thought it was a dream. On our way home we met Grant for lunch, she was so good at the restaurant. Next thing we knew my mom was here and she met my mom, her Grandma, for the first time. My mom was amazing, she let me be mommy but was more help that I could ever imagine. It was the most wonderful feeling when she called me mommy for the first time, I even thought it was cute when she slept or woke me up by wanting to sleep with me. I loved cuddling on the couch, or just smelling her cute little smell. I waited for bathtime and LOVE just watching her play.
Grant and I were married in September and we included our little angel in the ceremony. After we exchanged rings we placed a necklace around her neck. She tells everyone that she married mommy and daddy. It was the most magical day of my life.
Here we are 14 months later and ummm...yeah, up at night is not so cute NOW...
I now know what the meaning of tired is and the true and complete meaning of love. Imagine being dead tired, where you can't think BUT you still have to get out of bed and function enough to make meals, watch out for owies and make sure that there is cuddle time. I want to teach her the meaning of loyalty, the meaning of true friendship, the meaning of compassion and the meaning of love. She is my angel, my future and the meaning of true existence. I still love cuddle time, playtime and even bathtime. I can't imagine having more children and feeling this love time 2 or 3 or ... Now we go to family restaurants that have balloons, we coordinate who gets to sleep in while the other gets up at 5:30am on Saturday. We spend our days at the park and our nights watching SpongeBob.
Every memory, every blessing, every word I will cherish just as much as the first 'Mommy' because I can guarantee, as any mother knows, that is the most beautiful word you will ever hear. There is no manual to being a good parent, no exact science. You just do your best and bumble through it....
The past year has been full of so many highs and lows, from the uncertainty of when I would get her, to starting this amazing relationship with Grant, to all of the countinued court cases and seeing who my true friends were. Thank you to all of you that have supported me in everything now and always.
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